As a career coach, I teach that the average person begins to speak about 17 seconds after listening to a friend, colleague, or family member. This means that, in many cases, the listener will interrupt the speaker. As humans, most want to be heard, share their stories, and interject in a conversation. 

However, listening and observing may benefit job search and career management. Those who observe learn a lot about the job search (e.g., the key players, who lands jobs and why, how to strengthen a résumé and LinkedIn profile, how to identify keywords and messages for résumé development, interviewing practice, and much more), and the key players (e.g., interviewers, networking opportunities, career coach, the boss, interaction with family, and mentor relationships). 

Observing

Observing involves paying attention to others' behaviors. For example, if someone is laid off or fired for poor performance, one can observe the poor behaviors that caused the person to be let go. Observing and learning how to avoid these poor behaviors will help the observer excel in jobs in the future. 

Observing means paying attention to surroundings, team members, bosses, and other external factors in the job search. For example, as this is an election year, job seekers interested in government and contractor positions should be extra vigilant to news surrounding new jobs right after the election.  People moving to new communities should observe local job postings and job boards to identify shifts with employers, e.g., a new hospital or wing may open, there may be a surge of new construction, or a large company may open a new office/division (like Amazon or Microsoft). Company expansions often present many new job opportunities.

Observing means learning about behavior and body language. If an employee’s boss or colleague is in a bad mood or frustrated, observing and listening rather than speaking may help the employee avoid conflict. This allows the employee to learn how to react or manage in a similar situation. By studying a boss, the employee can learn to adjust the conversation by addressing topics the employee knows the boss likes to discuss and avoiding other issues. 

Observing also means paying attention. It is an opportunity to pay attention to what the boss or colleagues like to do. For example, the Zoom meeting may have pictures of golf tournaments, snow skiing, or children in the background. This may be an opportunity to initiate positive conversations, e.g., “I see you like golf. Where is that picture from?” Or, “I see that you snow ski. Where is your favorite ski location?” 

Notice that by asking questions, the employee does not monopolize the conversation. Instead, the employee leads the conversation. The difference would be if the employee said, “Oh, I see you like snow skiing. I take a winter ski trip to Colorado and Austria every couple of years. I once fell off the lift and ….”  It is better to be more interested in what others are saying than in yourself.

After observing people and situations, ask your client to write notes and identify his observations and “the rules.” For example, my boss seems most energetic and happy Monday through Wednesday. He seems to get quiet and frustrated at the end of the week. I will try to bring the necessary issues to his attention only on Thursdays and Fridays or wait until Monday if possible. I will be most engaging with my boss early in the week. 

Listening

Listening is important. It is important to engage others in conversation rather than speaking. By listening and observing, the employee can learn. Listening may come in the form of performance feedback (formal or informal), a general discussion, training/webinars/podcasts, group activities, and more.

Performance feedback may be difficult to hear, and a defensive attitude will not help the situation. Employees should be coached to listen openly, take notes, respond with reflective questions, return later with more questions, and plan to correct issues. Those who interject or act defensive initially will not make a good impression, and the opportunity to actively listen to the feedback will be lost. 

An employee who actively listens to his boss’s feedback, for example, will list the comments, seek to resolve any issues or gaps, and focus on areas of strength. This may require follow-up conversations.  A key to active listening is reflecting on what was said. For example, an employee might ask his boss, “Okay, so I heard you say that I must turn my reports in by Thursday of each week by COB Eastern time. Is that correct?”  This reflective response allows the boss to agree or provide further clarification.

Active listening includes paying attention to tone, body language, and nonverbal cues and asking open-ended questions. It means being present for the conversation rather than distracted by technology, family needs, or other concerns. 

Using reflective listening and asking for feedback validates the speaker's instructions for the listener. 

A career coach who is actively listening will use the same coaching technique to validate the job seeker’s plans. “I heard you say you will send me your LinkedIn profile by next Friday for me to review before you post it. Is that correct? If that is correct, then I will hold you accountable.”

Practice Listening

Listening is a critical skill in career coaching and may require practice. Truly listening to our clients without interrupting or jumping to conclusions ensures we better understand their needs, goals, values, motivations, and career plans, creating a stronger connection and more effective coaching.